a première mesure de Carlo Ancelotti en rentrant du Qatar fut d’appeler Valérie Damidot. La compréhension de la langue posa quelques problèmes en raison du français bancal de l’animatrice mais, très vite, le Camp des Loges fut rénové selon les désirs de l’Italien. On maroufla les murs, on remplaça les canapés usés par un carré de poufs, extérieur design, intérieur billes en polystyrène – les copines de Matuidi, de Lugano, de Camara et de Sirigu. Le coach demanda à ce que l’on transforme la salle de réunion en dortoir pour son staff, nombreux et fatigué par un long voyage. L’aménagement prit peu de temps : les réunions, ici, ne servaient déjà qu’à dormir.
A la fin, quand Kombouaré nous réunissait pour discuter du prochain match, les gars en profitaient pour lui laisser les gosses, un doudou et un oreiller puis filaient en centre-ville faire du shopping.
Sur les clichés, depuis le départ d’Antoine, le Camp des Loges paraît différent. Ancelotti a repeint les préfabriqués en rouge et noir, les couleurs du Milan. « Et celles de Rennes », remarqua Douchez avant que le coach ne l’oblige à se laver la bouche avec du savon. Rose. « Commbbpup la coubmlleur de Toubmpplouse ? » Oui. Rose. Avec des bulles. Plus discrètement, Carlo a changé les portraits des anciens joueurs affichés dans le hall. Luis Fernandez a ainsi laissé sa place à Paolo Maldini. Au niveau de l’image, c’est plus présentable.
Il a beaucoup été question d’image cette semaine.
En haut à gauche de cette photo, prise à Doha, un journaliste nous shoote. Il travaille au Parisien. Nous lui avons reparlé de la Une de son journal annonçant la signature de David Beckham. « Pourquoi tu as écrit ça? Pourquoi? » « Nous avons seulement dit que Beckham était d’accord pour venir, jamais que le contrat était signé. » Il avait raison. Nous n’avions retenu que l’image. Trois mots écrits sur un bout de papier. Des flashs.
Au club, tout le monde pensait que Beckham signerait. Nasser avait pris les mesures. Des maillots, 400.000, allaient être mis sur le marché. Roselyne Bachelot en avait commandé 80.000.
J’ai cru comprendre que le transfert avorté de David Beckham avait énormément fait parler, vendre et réagir. Pour certains, l’image du club en aurait été affectée. J’ai lu cette chronique de François Bégaudeau, dans le Monde, où il explique qu’un supporteur se fout bien de l’identité d’un club, tant que la victoire est là. Il cible le PSG, que les Qatariens dénatureraient, mais il ne cite pas les joueurs. Que pensons-nous de tout cela? Quand Jallet dit avoir le sentiment d’évoluer dans un club étranger, il faut le prendre comme un compliment.
Oui, l’argent, les rumeurs, la presse qui s’emballe, un staff cosmopolite, tout cela donne l’impression que le club ne nous appartient plus. Mais depuis quand un club appartient-il aux joueurs?
Sur cette photo, Bisevac apparaît plus concerné que les autres. Ancelotti a très vite été séduit par son professionnalisme. Ils ont passé énormément de temps ensemble, à discuter, à échanger sur la tactique. Cela ne saute pas forcément aux yeux mais Bisevac est quelqu’un de très intelligent. Il sent le football. Alors que Ménez, par exemple, il sent juste la transpiration.
Tiéné s’efface, en partie dissimulé par Ancelotti. En match, il voit bien qu’on préfère perdre la balle plutôt que de lui adresser une passe. A la cantine, les gars en viennent même à prévoir un pantalon de rechange avant de lui demander de servir à boire. Tiéné fut soulagé de nous quitter pour partir disputer la Coupe d’Afrique des Nations avec la Côte d’Ivoire. Il aimerait partir définitivement. Il en a marre de se faire lyncher par les supporteurs. Les journaux, encore, il s’en fout ; il ne les lit pas. Mais les supporteurs, impossible de ne pas les entendre. On lui a répété que Maicon pourrait arriver fin janvier. « Mais c’est pas un arrière gauche! » « Toi non plus », a répliqué Leonardo.
Des gens partent, d’honnêtes serviteurs, sans qu’on les remercie. D’autres restent, comme Makelele, sans qu’on sache vraiment pourquoi. Parce qu’on les juge importants, j’imagine.
En préparant le match de Coupe de France, vendredi, le coach a pris le temps de s’attarder sur mon cas. Au cours d’un arrêt de jeu, il m’a interrogé sur mes préférences en matière de poste. « Milieu offensif ou attaquant!« , que j’ai dit, juste avant de retourner m’entraîner, le moral gonflé à bloc. Ancelotti nous découvre. Il nous observe. Nous savons qu’il nous observe. Il sait que nous savons qu’il nous observe. Nous savons qu’il sait que nous savons qu’il nous observe – sauf Ménez, que la phrase précédente donne trop mal à la tête pour réfléchir.
Quand arrive un nouveau coach, les joueurs cherchent toujours à l’impressionner. Ancelotti est difficilement impressionnable. Quand on le déçoit, il nous recadre. Au fond, il n’est pas très différent de Kombouaré. Il nous fait juste bosser en 4-3-2-1, sa fameuse tactique en arbre de noël. Elle demande beaucoup d’application.
A un moment, oubliant les consignes, Hoarau a tenté un dribble. Ancelotti s’est frotté les yeux. Puis il l’a engueulé.
« Jouez simple! Simple! Comme Kohler! »
Il l’a carrément pourri à la mi-temps contre Locminé, lui donnant quinze minutes pour réagir. Et il m’a fait entrer à la reprise. Nous avions travaillé l’arbre de noël la semaine en imaginait qu’accrocher un ballon sur la tête de Hoarau suffirait pour l’illuminer. Mais c’était comme si l’arbre avait perdu ses épines et que nous marchions dessus, pieds nus. Quand Erding a remplacé Hoarau, nous n’avions pas été particulièrement rassuré. Les amateurs nous harcelaient. Devant. Derrière. Ils ne semblaient pas fatigués. Devant. Derrière. Un porno amateur. Ils jouaient en équipe. L’instituteur de CM1 taclait comme un fou. Bodmer n’avait jamais aimé l’école. Il était servi. Pour nous, la saison démarrait. Une rentrée des classes. Je connais ce monde amateur. Je sais que la rage, parfois, permet de renverser des montagnes.
Nene demandait le ballon. Il me le passait rarement. Pastore ne le demandait pas. Il me le passait encore plus rarement. Javier ne savait pas où se situer sur le terrain. De temps en temps, il redescendait très bas. Il cherchait Sirigu, son pote, son confident, l’homme qui le réconfortait dans les coups durs. Les attaquants adverses s’approchaient de lui et l’insultaient, en Français. Javier ne répondait pas et fronçait les sourcils ; en Argentin. Nous ne savions plus quoi faire. Je regardais Ancelotti. Il tirait pas une gueule pas possible. Comme sur toutes les photos. Sur les photos, l’équipe semble avoir changé. La réalité est plus floue.
Froua dit :
Très joli. Assurément la meilleure littérature sportive qu’il m’a été donné de lire depuis l’autobiographie de Jean Mimi (Vert de Rage) écrite par un singe épileptique d’une lointaine forêt subtropicale.
10 janvier 2012, 1:21Bonne continuation. Je pense que le cirque ambulant que devient peu à peu notre beau club de la capitale saura te donner une quantité de matière à la hauteur de ton talent.
novel dit :
Ce que j’aime, c’est que d’un billet à l’autre on passe de la farce à la charge virulente, ou de l’humour potache à quelque chose de plus doux-amer comme ici. Toujours aussi bien écrit.
10 janvier 2012, 11:03Rom1 dit :
Mais pourquoi donc Leonardo s’intéresse autant à la photo de l’équipe de ton frère ?
10 janvier 2012, 12:30Ben dit :
Je lis les aventures de Kevin depuis le début mais c’est un de mes épisodes préférés parceque le curseur est au bon endroit pour moi. J’ai plus de mal avec les épisodes « loufoques ». Là c’est drôle avec juste ce qu’il faut de décalage. J’aime beaucoup. Keep up the good work.
10 janvier 2012, 12:51CharlesCHT dit :
Ancelloti va enfin te donner ta chance Kevin, nous croyons en toi !
10 janvier 2012, 12:53demetrius dit :
« sauf Ménez, que la phrase précédente donne trop mal à la tête pour réfléchir. »
Hum…
10 janvier 2012, 13:29okepi dit :
Menez lui il sent juste la transpi :trop bon.
10 janvier 2012, 14:13C’est pas un arriere gauche; toi non plus:encore meilleur.
Merci,parce que Dubai m’avait laissé sur ma faim (peut etre les fetes).continu comme ça !!
JulienH dit :
« Des maillots, 400.000, allaient être mis sur le marché. Roselyne Bachelot en avait commandé 80.000 ». Merci pour ça, et pour tout le reste!
Bonne continuation !
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J’aime beaucoup ce ton vachard-lucide, doux-amer. Merci Maxime, je te souhaite une bonne année, à toi et à Kevin – j’espère que son contrat d’un an au PSG sera prolongé, pour qu’il puisse continuer à percer les secrets d’un monde qui n’est pas le sien…
10 janvier 2012, 21:05Momo dit :
Super match contre Locmine!
Avec un peu de réussite sur ta frappe sur le poteau, tu pouvais conclure.
Keep it real Kevin!
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http://www.lequipe.fr/Football/breves2012/20120111_103051_landre-prete-le-crom-teste.html
Tu vas t’emmerder, Kévin…
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