Psychiatrie Saint Germain (3)

24/02/2009 – 23:32

Toujours à la pointe de l’information médicale, la cellule « Médecine et drogues douces » de la rédaction capitonnée du Glas continue de participer à ce colloque portant sur les atteintes psychiques liées au football professionnel.


Suite à l’incartade découlant de l’affrontement entre pro et anti PSGeez, nous nous sommes dirigés vers l’amphithéâtre E. Dredon, où nous attendait un symposium sur la narcolepsie, appelée souvent à tort « déconcentration » par une multitudes de fumistes journalistiques. Voici donc relaté ici un bref compte-rendu.

C’est sur un fond sonore de REM que l’orateur, Mr Lex Emile, débuta sa présentation.


« Mes chers collègues, reprenons tout d’abord les différents symptômes caractérisant cette pathologie.

La somnolence diurne tout d’abord, qui frappe durant une activité, et qui donne à des automatismes répétés, tels que la passe systématique derrière ou latéralement. Mais jamais devant.

 

Un seul régime : garder la ligne

 

 

Le second symptôme observé dans cette pathologie est la cataplexie. Elle se caractérise par un brusque relâchement musculaire, et une altération de la conscience. Le tout déclenché par une émotion forte (une-deux avec Fabrice P., adversaire qui arrive, Paul le G. qui se lève du banc). C’est assez dramatique pour le joueur.

 

Attention Grégory, derrière toi, c’est affreux !!!

 

 

Enfin un des derniers symptômes abordés lors de cette conférence concerne les hallucinations hypnagogiques, correspondant à des visions de demi sommeil. De nombreux supporters souffrent de ce symptôme sans forcément présenter les autres, suite à deux buts en deux ans sur reprise de volée de Edouard C. Au PSG, un certain Zoumana C. (ou Souleymane, on sait plus, les sources divergent) a été diagnostiqué par un de ses coéquipiers, Mickaël L.

 

Non mais j’hallucine, je croyais que tu étais là Micka !

 

 

C’est sur une vidéo montrant une chevauchée fantastique de Sammy T. qu’une cataplexie généralisée percuta l’auditoire comme un vulgaire Benalouane et termina ainsi l’exposé.

 

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  2. excellent , le coup de camara qui sait plus ou est Landreau et qui marque contre son camps.. tellement vrai

    De kamms le 25/02/2009

  3. Je souhaitais également relever les cas de narcolepsie décelés chez certains défenseurs parisien notamment mario yepes et encore une fois sammy.T

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  4. Les liens pour ta brute, ca me parait pas nécessaire à la qualité de l’analyse ici …
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  5. J’ai encore éclaté de rire comme d’habitude avec Paris Sonne le Glas. Même si en tant que marseillais je trouve ça dommage que le PSG ne soit plus aussi drôle sur le terrain.

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