Partis Sans Gloire - Mickaël Madar
20/02/2009 – 17:02
Mickaël Madar (né le 8 mai 1968, comme quoi à cette époque, il n’y avait pas que la poésie dans la rue)
Mickaël Madar est né en mai 68 ce qui explique sa propension à balancer des parpaings sur les CRS placés en tribune. Il débuta sa carrière en 1986 au FC Sochaux, où il fut rapidement surnommé "le monstre des surfaces" par le journal l’Equipe. Traduit en "Madar Devil" pendant sa période anglaise, l’histoire ne précise pas s’il s’agissait de souligner son côté diable des surfaces ou aveugle devant le but. Cannes (92-94) étant l’unique club où il ne tâtonna pas, vous avez là un début de réponse. Pur produit estampillé Luis Fernandez, le seul capable de faire planter 26 pions à un non-voyant, Mickôël transforma en Môdôr les royaumes de Monaco (94-96), La Corogne (96-97) et Everton (98-99) avant de passer l’anneau au doigt du précieux PSG. On n’a même pas pu dire qu’on n’était pas prévenu, même si on a essayé.
Aaah Paris à la sauce Madar. Si délicate qu’elle est communément associée à un bovin. Leboeuf qu’il cotoya d’ailleurs lors de ses trois sélections internationales (phase éliminatoire de l’Euro 1996) - comme quoi on n’avait pas forcément tort de railler Jacquet. Il fut même du voyage en Angleterre mais ne se leva jamais du banc. C’est précisément pour cette qualité que le PSG le recruta, car les spécialistes s’accordaient à dire qu’il manquait de la profondeur au banc la capitale. Enrôlé par un Philippe Bergeroo déjà paranoïaque, il se révéla efficace en tant qu’agent secret d’attaque, étant donné qu’on ne le voyait que rarement dans la surface. Trois tristes réalisations lors de sa première saison, c’est ce qu’on appelle un buteur mossad. Le retour de son guide, Luis, la saison suivante lui permit d’inscrire 8 buts, ce qui lui valut les surnoms de "008" ou "pur sang", rapport à sa légendaire queue de cheval. Mais son réel sobriquet fut révélé par la suite: "008 poursan". Soit ses stats à Paris.
Précurseur du désormais célèbre art martial qui porte son nom, le krav madar, Mickaël maîtrisait le contrôle tibia-péroné-coude comme personne, et c’est tant mieux, capable d’utiliser n’importe quelle partie de son corps comme instrument de torture contre les supporteurs. Toujours en avance, et pas seulement en termes de hors jeu, Mickaël fut même visionnaire en prévoyant la crise financière de 2008. C’est en analysant Patrice Loko qui le précéda au PSG qu’il comprit que les bourses allaient indubitablement finir par s’effondrer. C’est pourquoi il profita d’un match France-Arménie, lors duquel il marqua son unique but sous le maillot bleu, pour thésauriser sa fameuse gourmette dans la pelouse du stade de Villeneuve d’Asq, et non du Parc des Princes comme le cloporte la légende, qui n’a de cesse de s’en prendre au PSG cette garce.
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Le fils caché du rebelle : Lorenzo Alamass
Madar quitta le club en 2001 en se demandant pourquoi Luis l’avait abandonné, puis ressuscita à Créteil trois jours plus tard, conformément aux écritures. Très connu pour son jeu de tête, c’est sur un coup d’icelle qu’en 2002 il se retira du football consécutivement à un carton rouge de sinistre mémoire. Ca vous rappelle quelqu’un ? Ouais ? Ben rien à voir.
Beaucoup de gens le trouvaient froid de prime abord. Et quand la question était posée à Mickael, celui-ci répondait invariablement « Froid moi ? Jamais ». C’est ainsi que l’on sut que Madar était thermolactyle.
377 réponses to “Partis Sans Gloire - Mickaël Madar”
C’est Jorge qui le recrute et la saison suivante, il marque les 8 buts avec Bergeroo.
De Monsieur Filatier le 20/02/2009
Très très propre tout ça!
Faire de l’épidictique avec Madar, ‘faut vouloir.
De la menace chantôme le 20/02/2009
il a pas été à l’a poil tel aviv après ?
De brandao de morue le 22/02/2009
Mickael ta façon de carresser le ballon nous manque cruellement!
De giorgiobill le 23/02/2009
La question que tout le monde se pose, l’a-t-il retrouvé sa gourmette, oui ou non ? Le Madar cherchant ses bijoux de famille reste l’un des moment majeur de désarroi du foot quasi-moderne.
Sinon, l’hypothèse privilégiée par la police est qu’elle est actuellement entre les mains de Gignac, ce qui expliquerait certaines choses.
De Scotian le 24/02/2009
C’est pas plutôt sa chaîne qu’il a perdu ? Je me souviens de cette image : Mika montre à l’arbitre que le défenseur qui le marque (le pôvre) lui a tiré le maillot, et là-dessu, crac : il arrache sa chaîne ! Ou alors c’était un autre match…
De el pitre de oro le 24/02/2009
J’adore la légende de la photo “Lorenzo Alamass” !
De Romain le 26/02/2009
La gourmette de Madar est tombé dans le trou de la taupe, situé dans les 18 mètres, et qui provoqua un peu plus tôt, la chute de Ravanelli. Voilà trois mystères éclaircis d’un coup.
De noel-san le 27/02/2009
pardon: “est tombée…”
De noel-san le 27/02/2009
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