“C’était un garçon bien élevé, bien éduqué.
- Avait-il de mauvaises fréquentations?
- Bien sûr! Il était footballeur, pas majorette.
- Oh, si vous saviez le nombre de majorettes que nous retrouvons mortes, violées ou défigurées, dans les environs, vous seriez surpris. Peut-être même envieux. Que faisiez-vous dans la région, d’ailleurs?
- Je vous raconte tout?
- Oui, racontez-moi.”
Un village se dressait sur notre route, parcouru de spermatozoïdes multiformes, blonds et bruns, à lunettes, tagués Reebok, Gap, La Halle aux vêtements, trop mous pour se chercher un ovule. Comme résignés. On nous avait conseillé de prendre à gauche après la boulangerie. A gauche, donc, un peu plus loin, plusieurs gamins, des dizaines de gamins, s’ébrouaient dans une cour d’école, près de bâtiments en préfabriqué. Un gosse aux joues grasses traînait une Ferrari en ralentissant de temps en temps pour qu’elle le dépasse ; la voiture électrique semblait cabossée. Subitement, ce gamin a frappé l’un de ses camarades au ventre, sans raison. Un troisième - il portait un maillot du Real Madrid au nom de Pepe - a riposté en lui lançant des pierres. Sakho m’a demandé si nous étions perdus. Oui, nous étions perdus.
“C’était où?
- Quelque part dans l’Yonne. Assez loin du stade, j’imagine.
- Pourquoi ne pas avoir pris l’avion?”
Suite à un récent sondage paru dans la presse expliquant que 78% des Français trouvaient le PSG “hautain“, voire, pire, “de droite“, notre président avait voulu nous emmener en bus à Auxerre. Une manière, selon lui, de “se rapprocher du peuple.” Il aurait simplement dû éviter de confier le volant à son chauffeur personnel. Conduire au Qatar est assez facile : vous allez toujours tout droit en suivant les puits de pétrole. Mais conduire sur une route française, c’est une toute autre histoire. Les puits sont rares. Les vôtres ne contiennent que de l’eau.
“Pas vraiment. Plutôt des gosses, en fait. On a en retrouvé deux la semaine dernière dans celui du père Loriot. On les a remontés avec une corde, en s’aidant des parois. En prenant appui avec leur tête, vous voyez? Ca va qu’ils étaient morts, sinon ils auraient pu se faire mal.
- Les parents ont porté plainte?
- Oh, non. Y en a tellement des gamins, ici. Un ou deux en moins, ça ne se remarque pas.”
Chaque matin, à l’heure où les marchés s’animent, notre président nous comptait avant les entraînements. Il disait qu’il lui manquait des joueurs. Plusieurs fois, effectivement, le club avait tenté d’abandonner Tiéné dans la forêt. Mais cette fois il s’agissait de ses propres enfants, de joueurs recrutés cet été pour plusieurs millions et qui ne donnaient plus aucun signe de vie. Comme ça, volatilisés. Pouf!
- Dans le département, les parents les plus pauvres vendent les leurs aux familles un peu plus riches qui n’ont pas le temps d’en faire. Ou ils les échangent contre de la viande.
- C’est toute une économie.
- Avez-vous vu traîner des hommes louches?”
J’en ai vu plein des personnes comme cela, des hommes que l’on traînaient dans la boue pour une simple erreur. Lui comme les autres, il en a souffert. Après être passé devant cette école, d’indications contradictoires en mensonges éhontés, j’ai pu sentir combien notre club était haï. A la sortie d’un hameau, un fermier nous a barré l’accès à la route en plaçant ses vaches derrière notre bus et sa femme devant ; par chance, deux bovins avaient laissé un espace suffisamment large pour nous permettre de reculer. Vers Saint-Fargeau, afin de retrouver la Nationale, Leonardo a dû menacer un habitant avec le pistolet dont il se sert pour parler aux arbitres à la mi-temps. A un rhume des foins près, il pressait la gâchette en éternuant. Se rendre en Province quand on vient de Paris donne des envies de descendre. Oui, cela me revient, maintenant : effectivement, un tueur en série avait été signalé dans l’Essonne. Un homme écrivant de sang-froid. Par un simple article, il flinguait une carrière. Même qu’il bossait à l’Equipe depuis quinze ans en toute impunité, sans que personne ne l’arrête.
“Nous manquons d’effectif dans la police.
- Je vous dit juste ce que je pense. J’essaye de comprendre, je ne suis pas plus avancé que vous.”
”Revenons à votre ami. Quand a-t-il disparu?”
Je ne sais pas. Les disparitions étaient fréquentes dans notre milieu. Au centre de formation, sur vingt joueurs, seuls deux parvenaient à signer pro. Les autres ne donnaient plus jamais de nouvelles. Un footballeur pro disparaissait aussi mais il trouvait toujours le moyen de revenir. On le voyait s’avancer dans la nuit et revenir le lendemain, cinq minutes avant le début de l’entraînement. Cela avait toujours été son cas.
“Le Camp des Loges est-il bien surveillé?
- Pas vraiment. Il suffit de se dire proche d’un joueur pour entrer. On nous vole régulièrement.
- J’ai pourtant reçu plusieurs plaintes concernant le PSG, provenant de Dijon, de Lyon, de Montpellier…
- Des plaintes pour vols?
- Vols de points, victoires injustifiées.
- La jalousie dont je vous parlais.
- A-t-on pu le kidnapper?
- Des gens venaient souvent lui parler. Des Espagnols. Mais non, je ne pense pas qu’ils ont pu le prendre, comme ça, sans payer d’indemnités de transfert. Le comptable l’aurait remarqué. Pardon : les comptables.
- Etait-il malheureux? Avait-il une raison de fuguer?”
Sa famille lui manquait, à en juger par les cartes postales de l’Argentine qu’il accrochait sur les murs de la salle de repos, du vestiaire ou sur le front de Sylvain Armand - bref, tout, du moment que c’était immobile et à portée de main. De là à fuguer… Oui, c’est… Imaginable. Compréhensible, même. N’ayant plus de nouvelles de mon frère depuis son passage à Paris et son altercation avec Leonardo, j’avais décidé de faire un détour à Moulins-sur-Allier en pilotant notre conducteur. Par ses grandes plaines désertiques, l’Auvergne ressemblait à l’Yonne et personne au club ne remarqua l’entourloupe. A treize heures, le bus tomba en panne d’essence à quelques mètres du cimetière, un cimetière habillé d’une porte blanche, très soigné, vraiment, l’endroit parfait pour pique-niquer. Il y avait l’électricité pour réchauffer les pâtes, des poufs et un Leader Price - le maire projetait de transformer en chambre d’étudiants des caveaux en ruine.
“Etait-il encore présent à ce moment-là?”
Je me suis absenté une petite heure pour aller voir ma mère, qui était seule à la maison. A mon retour, Leonardo et Hoarau s’engueulaient. Hoarau suspectait Leonardo de lui avoir volé un oeuf dur. Dans l’agitation, je n’ai rien remarqué de particulier. Plus tard, on l’a retrouvé broyé, déchiqueté, totalement écrasé. On ne pouvait plus rien faire de lui, pas même une omelette.
“Votre ami?
- Non, l’oeuf.
- Ah.”
Leonardo m’a accusé du vol. Je crois qu’il m’en voulait toujours pour cet article. En repartant vers Auxerre, ses doutes ne s’étaient pas dissipés. Nous avons roulé en suivant le plan emprunté chez ma mère. A l’arrière du bus, Hoarau, soupçonneux, ne cessait de se moquer de ma petite taille. C’était plus rigolo que gênant. Il vivait mal d’être en concurrence avec un gars comme moi. Un gars de la campagne.
“Vous semblait-il louche?”
Guillaume? Non, il ne ferait pas de mal à une mouche. Nos attaquants n’effraieraient pas un gardien remplaçant. Vous savez, depuis mon arrivée au PSG, j’en ai croisé des tas, des gens bizarres. Le pire, je crois, c’était lors d’un match avec la CFA contre Auxerre, justement. On avait entendu parler d’un vieux qui aimait beaucoup les jeunes. Il m’avait fait la cour toute la rencontre, me proposant de me rapatrier chez lui, me promettant un poste de titulaire et un avenir en équipe de France.
”Pourquoi pas des sucettes…”
Exactement. Et en repassant dans l’Yonne, j’ai soudain eu envie de le revoir, moi. Comme ça. Par curiosité. Dans la région, ce monsieur possédait une petite notoriété. Il avait un bus, lui aussi, et patrouillait les villages à la recherche de nouvelles prises qu’il revendait, bien des années plus tard, à des prix très élevés. 50 ans qu’il rôdait! J’ai demandé son adresse à des autochtones après avoir enfilé un pull troué, pour me fondre dans la masse. Figurez-vous qu’il bêchait son jardin! Il recouvrait un trou de terre molle. Pas méfiant. En regardant par-dessus son portail, j’ai vu un corps dans le fossé. Ouais, ouais, un cadavre. Mais pas celui que je cherchais. Un type avec des cheveux bruns, coiffé comme un moine. Comment s’appelle-t-il, déjà… Four… Fourniret?
“Fournier? Laurent Fournier?
- Oui!
- Oh, putain. Michel! Jean! Jean-Michel! On a du nouveau sur l’affaire du disparu de l’Yonne! Tous chez Guy Roux!
- Je n’ai pas terminé. Je…
- Monsieur Kohler, merci pour votre aide. Vous avez un match à disputer, je vais vous laisser.
- Et pour Javier Pastore, alors? Vous allez entamer des recherches? Coller des affiches?
- Votre camarade a déjà sa tronche dans tous les journaux. Chacune de ses absences semble faire l’objet de multiples commentaires. Je ne m’inquiète pas pour lui. On le retrouvera.”


novel dit :
Un de mes préférés, j’adore cet humour noir et audacieux… Guy Roux enterrant Laurent Fournier c’est excellent ! J’aime beaucoup aussi les changements de style et d’atmosphère à chaque billet, un grand bravo ! PS par contre mon inculture m’a fait louper le nom du journaliste de l’équipe mais ce n’est pas grave, les vrais connaisseurs auront trouvé.
15 avril 2012, 20:39Victor dit :
Un beau billet, une intrigue au fil des lignes qui fini magnifiquement.
16 avril 2012, 10:38Merci Kevin.
Sinon toujours pas de nouvelle de l’argentin??
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16 avril 2012, 14:27Jeff dit :
La grande classe comme toujours! En ce qui concerne la disparition de Pastore, je soupçonne Marcelo Gallardo de l’avoir enlevé…par jalousie!
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Très bon billet! Merci à toi
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